Bacon Rolls and Bacon Rub
BACON: EVEN PERFECTION CAN BE IMPROVED
We have a funny relationship with bacon. We alternately obsess about it and decry it, swear off it and then order a burger piled with it, shake our fists at it on social media (screw you, pork industrial complex!) while bonding with potential mates over how much we love it. Saying you love bacon suggests a hedonistic kind of chilled-out joie de vivre that makes people want to get naked with you, but if you want people to REALLY want to get naked with you, you need to be reasonably fit, you might want to go light on the bacon. Bacon, unsliced and entire, keeps for months, sometimes years; that is the point of bacon. But once it is sliced, that bacon goes bad fairly quickly, so if you are cooking for two, the size of the average package will pressure you to eat bacon every morning, which sounds fun until you try to do it. Have it intermittently, once in a while, once a week, once a day—and to make this easier, freeze it. You don’t have to thaw it - simply place the frozen bacon in the hot pan and it will take care of itself, with, I might add, minimal splattering.
Bacon is, of course, not for everyone (various versions of God seem to disapprove of it above all other meats) and, of course, your vegetarians will give it a skip, but if your ethics and local deities permit it, I posit to you that your bacon could, in fact, be better. Sure, any bacon is good, but standard American streaky uncured bacon is only made better by a nice dry rub. I am prone to buying unflavored uncured thick-cut Applewood Smoked bacon, which I find a it bland and like to zhuzh up with a red chile/brown sugar/salt rub that I keep in a spice jar in the drawer. This rub is endlessly adaptable; sometimes I add black pepper, sometimes chipotle chile, smoked paprika, or even swap out the brown sugar for Demerara.
INGREDIENTS
BACON RUB
EQUAL PARTS:
brown sugar (any kind)
sea salt (Diamond Kosher, preferably)
red Chile powder (Chimayo, Ancho, or even Chipotle if you like.)
AND MAYBE
1/2 part black pepper (optional)
FACTOIDS:
• A hundred years ago, I wrote an amusing article about bacon. Here it is.
• From Wikipedia: The word is derived from the Proto-Germanic *bakkon, meaning "back meat.” But most of the bacon we eat in the US comes from the belly. In the UK, most of it does in fact come from the back.
• Canadian bacon is back bacon, from the pork loin, as opposed to “streaky bacon”, which is the usual bacon found in the US.
• Some people think bacon solves all of life’s problems. They made a music video about it here.
• If you’re lonely, search for “bacon porn” on YouTube.
DIRECTIONS
FREEZE YOUR BACON:
Bacon, unsliced and entire, keeps for months, sometimes years. That is the point of bacon. But once it is sliced, that bacon goes bad fairly quickly, so if you are cooking for two, the size of the average package will pressure you to eat bacon every morning, which sounds fun until you try to do it.
To freeze bacon effectively for carefully meted-out consumption, you want to separate it out before you freeze it. You can do this in strips on a baking sheet, but I find that these are prone to breaking in the middle or wherever the fat is thinnest. To keep it whole, roll it first into little coils, or “snails.” I cannot take credit for this tip (I saw it online somewhere ages ago, and if it was your post, let me know). But it works. Once you’ve frozen it, you can store it in a ziploc and then take out as many individual rolls as you want and cook it directly from frozen. It unrolls practically immediately in the pan with a little prodding. You don’t have to thaw it - simply place the frozen bacon in the hot pan and it will take care of itself, with, I might add, minimal splattering.
COOK YOUR BACON:
Heat a heavy pan—cast iron, preferably—on high until water flecked onto it sizzles. Place the frozen bacon coils in the pan on a flat end. The part touching the pan will begin to cook quickly, but after a few seconds, the coils will allow you to tease them apart (I use tongs for this) and lay flat. I think it’s best to start frozen bacon at high heat, and then for maximum crispy Maillard, keep at at the highest heat you can manage without burning it. Pay attention. Ride that temperature knob.
SEASON YOUR BACON:
When your bacon is flat, sprinkle bacon rub all over the bacon as it cooks. Once one side is sprinkled, turn it over and sprinkle the other side so that the heat sears in the bacon rub. NOTE: the sugar rub tends to stick to the black enamel-lined Le Creuset pans, but it doesn’t stick to bare seasoned cast iron.
DRAIN YOUR BACON:
Place cooked bacon on a paper-towel lined plate to drain off excess fat. I shouldn’t have to say this, but I’ve run into enough people who don’t do this that I feel I have to mention it. Savages.
